I am 1 in 8. I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility in early 2015 after trying everything outside of medical intervention the year and a half prior. My GYN said things were fine and that I really just needed to time it better.
I, at that point I became my own advocate and saw an (RE) Reproductive Endocrinologist. He suggested months of medicated timed intercourse (fail), 3 IUI’s (fail), yet was reluctant to pursue IVF because clinically I was textbook, test after test and nothing was abnormal. I was motivated and eager to make my Husband and I parents but in my heart knew we needed to move forward with another plan. So with a lot of prayer, thought and consideration we pursued IVF in December 2015. And on the 15th we transferred 2 day-five blastocysts which resulted in the twins you see here.
I had a high risk pregnancy, diagnosed with IUGR, my babies were born premature and spent the first month of their lives in the NICU. But today they are happy and healthy and I can say that I beat infertility and I am truly blessed and humbled having had gone through this to create our beautiful family.
What things helped you cope with infertility? “The IG community was my saving grace as I battled infertility. I felt isolated and alone as there wasn’t anyone I knew personally that had ever gone through this. I knew I needed an outlet and someone that I could relate to. So I started searching hashtags and found an overwhelming amount of women openly sharing about their struggles to conceive. I immediately felt like I had found my tribe! This was my safe place…somewhere I could go without feeling judged and was able to talk freely about my struggles, frustrations and sadness. My husband didn’t understand and wasn’t always sure how to console me so I found comfort in this community. I am so thankful I started my account and am still present cheering on those still in the wait, comforting those in loss, celebrating the successes, and making lasting friendships everyday.”
What was the hardest part of the journey for you? “In the beginning it was putting on a brave face for those around me. I didn’t want anyone I personally knew to know. I was attending countless baby showers, 1st birthday parties and smiled at the baby bumps that I was desperately yearning for. The hardest part for me was always pretending like things were fine. I wasn’t ready to come clean…admit that I was broken? No thanks. So I quietly acted like things were good and that, “We’re just not ready for kids yet. We’ve got time.” The subject isn’t as taboo as it once was, I think that with the power of social media and celebrities being open has encouraged people to speak out. But truthfully there’s a lot of people that know me personally that still don’t know how hard I had to work to have my twins. And I still am battling how to share that. I want to advocate and not be ashamed but it’s an insecurity believe it or not that I am working on.”
Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children? “Yes, what a testimony of faith, courage and love to bring these babies into the world! I want them to know just how much it took to complete our family. I worked so hard for them! I put my body through so many intense treatments and faced so many fears. I amazed myself at how well I faced those fears and anxieties and for all that we endured I want them to know every detail. Not to mention I think it’s important to share your medical history with your children. I plan on making a book for each of them, I think this will be a sweet tribute for them to see how much they were wanted and loved before they were ever conceived.”
In what ways has infertility changed you and affected your life? “It has made me a more empathetic person. It has shown me how to slow down and evaluate what’s important in life. Infertility will always be a part of me; my past, my present and my future. I still get bump envy. I still feel the sting of a surprise announcement. I still will never know what it’s like to conceive a child the “natural way.” But it has made me a better person. I wholeheartedly feel that. It’s taught me to love fiercely, stop assuming the worst and trust in God’s plan.”
What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers? “Be your own advocate. Whether you are in the beginning or in the throes of infertility treatment don’t be afraid to ask the questions. You are not just a number at the clinic so don’t let them treat you like one. This is a very sensitive time in your life and you deserve the attention to detail. Your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone degrade them. If you need to talk to someone there are resources. Find your tribe and love them hard!”
Want to contact Aimee? Instagram: @insta_aimee
You can read previous guest blogger posts here.